This has been one of the worst weeks of my life (I’m still working on the post about it). For Beana’s sake I’m trying to remain positive and not wallow in a mixture of self-pity and failure. To keep perspective I like to visit fmylife. An entire blog of shitty days and while some of them don’t ring quite true: Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then proceeded to walk into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poke his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML I still pee my pants laughing.
Here are a few recent ones:
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say “fuck me” in Spanish. She claimed it was “pollo frito”. I then proceeded to have sex, constantly screaming pollo frito for an hour. I later realized I was screaming “fried chicken.” FML
Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it’s a woman’s time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read “because you can’t find a real girl I made your current one prettier, Love Mom.” FML
So as I pick up pieces, I have to stop and find the funny. The funny helps me be there for Beana. Hopefully she sees that I’m still able to laugh and understands that it’s okay for her to laugh, also. That it’s okay for her to find joy even though there are sad things going on.